


Grifshots

by a_taller_tale



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Angst, Childhood, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Missing Scene, One Shot Collection, Pets, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-09-28 16:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10133516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_taller_tale/pseuds/a_taller_tale
Summary: Prompted one-shots featuring Grif, Grif siblings, and Grimmons. First up, what happened in the Vegas Quadrant.





	1. Vegas Quadrant: Grimmons

**Author's Note:**

> Hound_Unit prompted "Grif and Simmons at the Vegas quadrant! (Simmons needs to lighten up)"

When Grif said Simmons should lighten up and left him at the bar, he very stupidly didn’t realize that Simmons had never had anything stronger than a beer before. Huge oversight. Because it was only 8pm and he was practically carrying Simmons back up to the room they were sharing on the UNSC’s dime.

“I like Long Island Iced Teas,” Simmons slurred in his ear. 

“You would,” Grif shot back, so so annoyed. He was just going to dump Simmons in their room and leave him there and go back down to the slots. He needed to win back some of the money he lost today. “Jesus, there’s like eight kinds of alcohol in there. How many did you have?” 

“Four…They were sweet.” Figures. He only left him alone for an hour. What the fuck? 

“Don’t throw up on me,” Grif warned. He was also mentally figuring out how he could shark the dude who kept feeding Simmons those drinks at cards. Oblivious as Simmons was, he hadn’t realized the guy was trying to hit on him at all. Fucking idiot. Luckily, Grif got there and shot all that down. 

First of all, Simmons was _just_ starting to relax on their vacation, and second, he would completely freak out if he realized anyone, male or female, was hitting on him and probably stutter about it for the rest of vacation. 

Simmons was half draped over Grif’s shoulder, laughing to himself. As they got to their door, Simmons pulled back only to wrap his arms around Grif’s waist, making him fumble the key. He leaned into Grif’s ear again, like Grif wouldn’t be able to hear him unless his hot breath was hitting his neck, and murmured, “Grif…” 

Said ears were getting a little hot now. “What?” 

“I wanna… Let’s, um…” 

Grif finally got the door open, revealing the dark room and the two beds a respectable distance from each other, but 100% of his attention was on Simmons groping him. “Spit it out.” 

“I really wanna,” and he mumbled the next part as Grif flicked on the light, “with you…” 

“What the hell do you _want_ , Simmons?” His voice was a little high, but Simmons didn’t seem to notice. 

Grif flicked on the light and Simmons stumbled away from him, using the wall to straighten up and recover his shredded dignity. His hair a mess, face blotchy and flushed with alcohol. “I wanna watch the new Batman with you,” Simmons clearly enunciated with a lopsided drunken smile. “It’s terrible. I wanna make fun of it with you.” 

Grif was so fucked. 

He shut the door, turned on the tv, and they laid on their stomachs on their respective beds, viciously ripping apart the story, the characterization, and the latest stupid Batman costume. It was the same thing they would do on a random boring night at Red Base in fucking Blood Gulch. 

It was the perfect vacation. 

Grif didn't end up going back downstairs, even when Simmons only made it an hour into the movie before he was throwing up in the bathroom.


	2. Oreo Dirt Cake: Grif

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brick847 prompted a scene from one of Grif's childhood birthdays.

Dexter Grif liked all kinds of cake, but the best cake by far was dirt cake, which he could only get mom to make for his birthday. He was turning eight and three of the kids he hated least from third grade were going on a trip to the arcade with him and they were going to eat that huge pan of dirt cake. 

You see dirt cake is not so much a cake as a pudding. It was white and chocolate pudding mixed with cream cheese with crumbled Oreos on top and decorated with gummy worms. 

It was the stuff dreams were made of. 

It was only 10am and he wanted some now, but he was told he had to wait until they got to the arcade to do cake and presents and stuff. Kaikaina had just turned four and claimed the sugar flowers mom had put in it. 

“It’s my birthday," Grif griped. "Yours was two weeks ago. _This_ stuff is all for me.” Kaikaina sulked and cried and he decided if she was going to be a brat about it, she could only have half of them. 

He was flicking cheerios at Kai when Steve pounded down the stairs. 

Half the guys mom dated were named Steve, and they were all jerks. But this Steve hadn’t been that bad. He’d lived with them for almost two years. 

“Hey Steve,” Dexter tried to look bored, but he noticed the duffel bag over the guy’s shoulder. Uh-oh. 

“Steve!” Kai waved her spoon at him, beaming. Kai loved Steve. 

Steve looked caught like a deer in the headlights. “Sorry,” he muttered as he walked out the front door. The car started up a minute later. 

Dexter frowned at his cheerios. Mom slammed out of the upstairs bedroom a second later, her robe flying behind her. “Did he leave?” 

Dexter nodded. 

“That _fucker._ I’ll be right back. Watch your sister.” 

Dexter played video games at home most of the day, and showed Kai how to play some of them even though she had a lot of trouble navigating and ran in circles sometimes, like she didn't know which guys were the bad guys even though he showed her they were the green guys a bunch of times. 

When mom didn’t come back by 2, he called his friends himself to cancel the party. 

When she didn’t come back by 7, he fed Kai spaghettios for dinner and made her go to bed. 

Kai was still a little brat, so she stomped her feet and threw a big tantrum. She was emotional, but she was smart. She knew something big happened. She calmed down a little when he read her her stupid favorite story three times. It was about a bunny or something. 

Dexter didn’t feel upset himself, but he was pretty relieved when his mom finally got home at 10. When he approached her where she was sitting on the couch, she seemed surprised he was still up. 

“You okay, mom?” 

She looked at him with tear-streaked cheeks. “So, Steve’s not coming back. Things are gonna be a little tight for a while. He had the rent.” 

Dexter nodded. Figured. He’d be way more suspicious of the Steves now. 

“Sorry about your birthday, Dex,” she said. 

“I didn’t really want to share my cake with those jerks from school anyway. More for me.” He shrugged and she gave him a big hug before she put herself to bed. His mom gave the best hugs. 

The house was quiet when he went back to the kitchen and pulled out the big glass pan with the dirt cake in it. He pulled out the sugar flowers and gummy worms for Kai and ate it until he made himself sick. 


	3. The Alchemist and the Frog: Grimmons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aerefyr prompted a Princess and the Frog AU

Simmons tore at his hair as he mumbled to himself.

What was he going to _do?_ He shouldn’t have even been messing with the artifact in the first place, but he’d thought he could make it work. Artifacts and mechanical marvels were a specialty and he thought if he just tweaked it a little, it would work for them. 

But the Epsilon artifact had rolled away on its own with a passing _“fuck you”_ and gone straight into the pond. The rival kingdom would be at the feast tonight and they _needed it_ if they wanted to have an advantage over Castle Blue in the coming war. 

Simmons knelt over the pond in the mud, not even bothering to be upset about his breeches getting filthy. Goddammit, he couldn’t even see the glowing blue jewel that served as Epsilon's eye anymore. 

Wait. 

Bubbles floated to the surface and some of the plant life on the surface of the pond shifted. Something was coming back up. 

Leaning in closer to the pond, he wondered if that smart-ass ball somehow also knew how to float as well as it played on all of Simmons’ insecurities. 

But what came up wasn’t the Epsilon artifact. 

It was a frog. 

The biggest fattest frog Simmons had ever seen and it heaved itself up onto a lily pad with a loud human sounding huff. 

…Maybe it was a toad, Simmons wasn’t really sure how to tell the difference. Nature hadn’t been his best subject during his tutelage as a child. 

“Dude, stop crying,” the frog rasped, obviously out of breath. 

“Oh my god, you’re talking!” 

The Epsilon artifact had never shut up, but it had belonged to a dead sorcerer, and most of their shit tended to mouth off. A frog was too much. Simmons was really losing it. 

“I was trying to take a nap and you woke me up by throwing your garbage in my pond." The frog rolled on its back, exposing its belly. Simmons had never seen a frog do that. "It was pretty rude, and with all your whining about it I couldn't go back to sleep." 

“I’m not crying!” Simmons growled, smearing the tears on his face. 

The frog didn’t look like it was buying it. “Look man, I’ll do you a favor. If you take me back to your house and get me some decent food, I’ll get your dumb ball back, even though you tried to kill me with it." 

“It rolled away on its own!" Simmons insisted. A talking frog was probably not worth the time, but Simmons still _had_ to correct him. " _And technically,_ the Epsilon artifact is not really a ball. It’s a really complicated ancient device that works somewhere between mechanics and magic, and it was an asshole. Even if you got it back it’s wet and probably broken and–" Simmons voice broke with the realization. “I have to be at the feast in an hour. The king is gonna kill me. I’m dead." 

The frog’s nostrils flared. “I have no idea what to tell you. Maybe if you bring a frog _that can talk_ to his dumb feast to entertain people, he’ll be impressed. I dunno, I just want some goddamn garlic bread. I’m Grif, by the way.” 


	4. Little D's Decision: Grimmons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little drabble from the [Five Reds and a Baby](http://archiveofourown.org/series/493243) series.
> 
> [zeuswrites](http://archiveofourown.org/users/zeuswrites) prompted: "Once Dexter Grifblob "Little D" Grif-Simmons is big enough to crawl, they sometimes have him help solve stupid arguments by seeing who out of the two the baby will crawl towards. More often than not, the baby just plops asleep, possibly out of boredom."

“Come here, Dexter! Come on!” Simmons shook a rattle pleadingly in front of the baby’s face.

“You’re calling him like a dog. You’re a bad parent.” Grif used the opportunity Simmons’ offended spluttering afforded him to wave Little D’s favorite toy, a lovey shaped like a puma, catching the baby’s attention. 

Little D fell forward onto his hands on the playmat and started scooting forward. “That’s right, come to me," Grif said. "I gave you life.” 

Simmons was not impressed. “Sarge gave him life, you asshole. As he likes to remind everyone, he paid 6000 installments of $35.95 to have a clone made. –Dexter, come here! Who changes you the most?” 

”I didn’t ask Sarge to do that. Doesn’t matter, still _my dna_. And I changed him yesterday.” 

"He has to be changed every _TWO HOURS, GRIF_.” 

"C'mon, kid. I'll give you pizza." 

"You _will not_ ," Simmons said. "Dexter, I made more laminated flashcards for you this morning. They're _shiny_." 

Little D started towards Simmons' sing-song tone, then back to Grif when he reached behind himself for more toys from the basket, which was conveniently behind him. 

The kid switched loyalties a few more times, big eyes directed at one and then the other as they bickered. Considering. An opportunist. It made Grif a little proud. 

But then, instead of picking a winner, the baby gave up, flopping down with a toothless baby smile and laid his head on the mat, blinking sleepily. 

Simple fraction flashcards going limp in his hands, Simmons smiled back at the baby. Dork was hopeless. Grif refused to be manipulated by his kid being cute. 

“…He’s closer to me, I'm calling it,” Grif said. “We’re watching Star Wars.” 


	5. Family Pet: Grif

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Strudelgit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strudelgit/pseuds/Strudelgit) prompted: "A scene with a pet."

A bird ranked as a slightly less useless pet than a fish. Barely. But at least you could pet it, theoretically.

Kai brought the bird home one day with a huge grin on her face, telling him her fifth grade teacher needed a home for it and they had a home so she’d volunteered. Grif reminded her they weren’t a volunteer sort of family, but the bird came with a cage and some food and Kai’s teacher had already fucked off for retirement so he couldn’t return it. 

It was yellow and gray, which Kai insisted was her favorite color and it had red circles on each cheek. The feathers on its head stuck up comically and it chirped constantly. 

According to the internet, it was a cockatiel and they could live up to 25 years in captivity. So now he had a bird. He was 15 years old and he had a little sister and a bird to take care of. 

Awesome. 

The bird’s name was Chloe and he immediately set about trying to teach her to swear, but that needed a lot more repetition and practice than he was willing to give it, so he gave up after a couple of hours. 

Cleaning the cage wasn’t that big a deal, and Chloe ended up not being that bad of a pet. She went to sleep when you put a blanket over her cage, she nipped but never bit, and climbed on their fingers, and when Grif took her out of the cage she liked to sit on his head. 

Kai was kind of bummed out after mom left, but she actually giggled at him the first time he tried to lecture her with Chloe pacing in his hair. 

Then one day, he came home from work one afternoon and the bird was gone. Mom was home for the off-season, at least until she found another entertaining gig. She said the bird eggs freaked her out and she didn’t want to clean the cage when Grif got tired of doing it, so she preemptively gave Chloe away. 

Grif wasn’t too broken up about it. Cleaning the cage was a pain and they couldn’t spare a ton of money for good pet supplies and she was a noisy bird that didn’t even know how to swear. 

Mom left again for another circus a few months later, but Kai didn’t bring home any more pets. Grif was drafted before Chloe’s 25 years were up anyway, so maybe it was a good thing they didn’t keep the bird. 


	6. Care and Feeding: Grimmons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simmons is still getting used to being a vampire and really wishes he could turn the auto-seduction feature off when it’s time to feed.
> 
> “Supernatural AU” square for Red Team RvB Bingo.

Grif sighed and didn’t even look up from the TV to where Simmons was crouched on the other side of the couch. “Would you stop looking at me like that?”

Simmons was about as far as he could be from Grif without being completely off the couch. He dug his fingers into his knees. “Like what?” 

“Like you want to _eat me,_ ” Grif said. 

“I’m _hungry_ , Grif!” Simmons snapped. 

“Then eat. Jeez. Don’t be all pissy and passive aggressive about it.” Grif paused the game and pulled the collar of his shirt down. 

Simmons hesitated, less crazed with hunger than last time, when he’d attacked his best friend on instinct, but he couldn’t look away from that smooth skin. He could almost see the pulse beating under it. 

“What? Do you need an engraved invitation? Come on, before I change my mind, leech.” Grif didn’t look nervous or even all that interested and that _somehow_ made it less weird. Simmons licked his lips, crawling up closer to Grif on his knees, his movements becoming smoother as his new predator instincts kicked in. 

Grif didn’t tense up at all, but as Simmons moved in, his eyes dilated. That _lure_ that Donut talked about. Simmons slid his arm around Grif’s back, cradling his neck, pressing his thumb down into his skin, feeling for the spot the blood flowed strongest. There. That was it.  
  
Grif’s heartbeat thundered in Simmons’ ears as he touched his lips there briefly, before sliding his fangs in. 

It was better than the first time. Grif was completely relaxed in his arms, and willing, and he tasted so good. Simmons retracted his fangs and sucked. Grif was so warm. Simmons always felt so cold now. 

A soft groan broke Simmons out of his trance minutes later, and he realized he wasn’t really hungry anymore. He’d just been playing with his food, kneading Grif’s side and lapping at the bite. 

Oh, gross. Grif was going to think he was being weird. He was just trying to eat, it was just getting used to the whole vampire thing. It was a learning curve. He wasn’t trying to be— 

But Grif didn’t seem to mind. When Simmons let him go, Grif let his body completely melt into the couch, breathing shallowly, gaze hazy and unfocused. The slight smile on his face was one Simmons had never seen before.

“You... okay, Grif?” 

“Mmm… Yeah.” Grif replied, eyes half lidded. He was tracing Simmons’ arm, trying to pull him back in. Oh god. He _liked_ it. Grif looked… kind of turned on. – _Oh god_ , he _felt_ turned on.

Simmons jerked back, his cheeks and ears flushing with the fresh blood. “Uh—um, okay. Glad you’re um, good.” 

Grif blinked and stopped touching him, slight confusion rapidly turning to awareness. “Uhh… I’m just gonna...” He fumbled the controller, turning the game back on. His character immediately died. 

Simmons decided to give him a minute by going in the kitchen, even though he didn’t really need anything in there. “Yeah, uh. Water?” 

“Beer,” Grif grunted, staring at the loading screen. 

Simmons stood there in the kitchen for a minute, unsure what he really went in there for, before pressing his forehead against the freezer door. The way Grif looked at him... It was already replaying in his mind over and over. 

Being a vampire was making things awkward. 


	7. The Reaping: Grimmons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Hunger Games AU](https://a-taller-tale.tumblr.com/post/165271720622/a-taller-tale-grimmons-hunger-games-au-grif)

“Kaikaina Grif!” That horrible cheerful voice calls out, and it echoes through the crowd. It’s like Kai’s nightmare from this morning. It’s definitely Grif’s.

Kai’s looking around the crowd from where she’s standing with the girls, and he never stopped looking out for her, so he sees the panic on her face. Grif telling her she’d never be picked was a _lie_. 

All his taking out extra lots on himself to get them one more month of rice, one more month of flour, because mom couldn’t work and she wouldn’t let him in the mines after dad died. All of that, and this only being the first year her name was in at all, and Grif’s name wasn’t the one that was called. It was his sister’s.

The guards take notice of where she’s standing. She’s unsure of whether she should move forward, looking to Grif for approval. This kid he clothed and fed and _begged_ for. All to help her survive. And this fucking system takes her? Just like that? After _how hard he worked to keep her safe?_

_“I volunteer!”_

It takes him three seconds longer than anyone else to realize that was his voice. He said that. The guards turn to look at _him_ instead of his sister. Good. Okay. He can do this. He can protect her.

“I volunteer. As tribute,” he says, and his voice doesn’t shake at all.

“Oh!” says Franklin Delano Donut, the idiot from the capitol with his fucking _pink_ suit and his stupid fucking TV catch phrases. “This is the _very first_ volunteer we’ve ever had from District 12! Exciting! Come on up!”

This guy can’t be that much older than Grif himself, but he beams and talks to him like he’s a child. “What’s your name?”

“Dexter Grif,” he says numbly.

“Dexter _Grif_!” Donut repeats in that projecting pageant voice. “Well, I’ll bet my right eye that was your sister!”

Dude’s right eye has some weird tattooing around it like a scar from a mining accident, though it’s some stupid capital decoration, so it’s probably supposed to look like a comet or a firework. He was probably trying to draw attention to it, because it’s new from when he was District 12′s announcer last year. Grif doesn’t comment. 

Donut takes it in stride and pulls the name for the next poor bastard. “Our second tribute from District 12 iissssssssss… Dick Simmons!”

Dick Simmons, the bakers’ kid, who’s definitely never even seen the inside of a mine with his unscarred skin and uncalloused hands, walks up on shaking legs. 

No one runs out of the crowd to volunteer for this guy. No one even seems to take very much notice after the spectacle Grif and his sister made.

It’s weird he’s so lanky, because Grif knows he’s never been starving. The Simmons family is better off than most of the families in their district. His father didn’t die in a mining accident, he has a profitable business. Simmons probably never even had to take out extra lots on his name.

The guy looks like he’s scared shitless, and no one else seems to care. Normally tributes inspire a little bit of pity from Grif, but he can’t bring himself to feel anything right now when he’s on the chopping block himself. His worst nightmare is coming true. He’s on his way to fight 23 other people to the death. There’s no way he’ll last a day.

The baker’s boy won’t either. Grif and Simmons have that in common.


End file.
